Marriage they say is a dynamic union as one can’t be compared with others. The state of parent marriage can’t be inherited by children either good or bad which means each individual going into the union has the responsibility to make their own work. But should these things be known when one already enter or before? I believe it’s better to know before entering!
If friendship and courtship can come with many disagreement, no gain saying there will be same or worse in marriage if not managed properly. Therefore, don’t think you trust him or her because you are likely to see new personality on that perfectionists of yours. But when this happen who should take the lead to break the ice and bring normalcy to the house?
Some will say the man should do so because he is the man and has to treat the woman gently while some will say the woman should be the one because the husband is the head of the family. So who should we believe now? Sincerely blindly following any can cause cassala in the home!
There is also this idea that couples should not bother discussing the issues of differences but just apologize and move on with their union! I have found this to cause log of bitterness and hatred among couples. Those bitterness just keep pilling until one can’t take it again and bust out.
If that’s the case then there is a major deficiency in the initial method of doing things and some other ways of handling such issues should be explored.
As much as peace is the lasting goal of every home human imperfections can try to distort that then I think it’s better to speak about those imperfections!
The man use the toilet and doesn’t flush or close it then don’t just squeeze your eyes around the house and expect him to notice your displeasure, please tell him!
If you are dying within you with house chores and you think he should help you with some, don’t expect him to read your mind because he won’t. Just discuss it with him!
You expect her to get your food ready but for one reason or the other you are not aware of she couldn’t and you rush out like masquerade, please calm down and speak with her about it.
She is putting too much pressure on you when you expect her to understand you, don’t just bring up attitudes but rather speak with her about it.
Speaking to your partner should not look confrontational in nature but with courtesy, wisdom and love. Explain your challenges and don’t dictate what the partner should do but how they can help you. Shebi that’s the whole essence of the union.
What you both want is peace and tranquility in the home but if you are dying silently while the partner think everything is going fine. They will continue to live like everything is normal while nothing is normal to you. Please speak out before it goes out of hand.
Speaking might increase the heat at first but when both parties understand the issue under consideration they will also reason along with you and join in the quest for peace.
Please am assuming your partner is a human in the first place!
Maybe you are married and you have been keeping the displeasure please give your spouse a nice treat then call him or her and have heart to heart discussion to settle your displeasures. But you think how is this important to you since you are single? It is better you have knowledge of this ahead so you can know things you should do when the snake of grudges raise it ugly head.
Marriage is a blessing from the Lord and you should enjoy it! Have a blissful union!
WRITTEN BY: MY COUNSEL